7 Ways to Overcome Negativity in a Relationship
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Everyone experiences negative emotions at some time or the other. These emotions are the most frustrating as negativity can kill a relationship. The bitter part is that negativity occurs unconsciously and the person may come to understand just how negative he/she is being when much damage has been done. Experts say that when a negative emotion is experienced, it means your mind is telling you that something is not right and needs to be changed. It’s important to recognize the negative signal and use the energy positively. Negativity occurs when you keep dwelling on the same negative emotions and thoughts, and keep repeating them, without changing anything.
Many couples fight periodically and research indicates that most of the issues are the same and never get resolved by them, but there are couples who may fight but still succeed in finding happiness by resolving their differences, discussing them and making efforts not to wound their relationship irretrievably.
1. Make a specific complain
Fights turn bitter when a spouse shows contempt or sarcasm and points a finger at the mate. Instead of calling your mate names, it’s better to speak of the actual reason behind your anger without implicating your spouse’s character.
2. Build on what you like about your spouse
If you display your contempt about your spouse, it will definitely hurt as it is meant to. If this becomes a permanent scenario, it will eat into your relationship. What is essential is to remember and build on what you like, love or admire about your spouse.
3. Listen to your spouse
It becomes almost impossible not to defend yourself when being blamed for something, but being defensive can lead to further recriminations and fights, so it would help you in the long run if you listen to your spouse and try to understand his/her point of view.
4. Go for therapy
Researchers say that it is men who feel most stressed in a fight, as it affects their heart rate and blood pressure. When negativity persists in a relationship, men usually try to ignore the negative outburst by walking out of the room, staying silent or hiding behind the newspaper. If such a situation persists, then it’s best to go for therapy and learn soothing techniques to stay calm. Both husband and wife have to go together as both have to learn how to avoid this situation in future.
5. Try to remain happy
When you catch yourself experiencing a negative thought or emotion, don’t let it carry you away. Think of something funny, read some jokes or anything that will increase your happiness.
6. Stay optimistic
In the midst of a crisis try to figure out the silver lining. Think of anything worthwhile that can come out of the situation and see what good you can retrieve.
7. Keep a pet
Pets are one sure way of helping people to be happy, as they are undemanding. You can talk to them and cuddle them, and that itself will give you the contentment and happiness you seek. Pets can even help troubled spouses to be able to relax together.
