6 Reasons it is so Hard to Forgive
Photo Courtesy: hang_in_there
Giving forgiveness to someone who has broken your heart or who has hurt you, can be hard and painful. It is easier said than done. If you are finding it tough to forgive someone, you are not the only one. Here are a few reasons why it is so hard to forgive.
1. You risk being hurt again
You may find it difficult to forgive someone because you think that forgiving them means that you are allowing him or her to enter your life again. You could be thinking that if you forgive people and they enter your life again, they may hurt you again simply because they got away with it when they got your forgiveness. The fear of exposing yourself to more hurt and pain may be one of the reasons that you find it hard to forgive.
2. You don’t want to let that person have it too easy
When you get hurt by someone, you are likely to feel angry and frustrated at that person. You may not want to forgive that person because you think it means letting them to get off the hook too easily. Your desire to punish that person as much as possible may result in making it difficult for you to give forgiveness.
3. You hurt your own ego
Ego is often a barrier even in healthy relationships, let alone a relationship where forgiveness is required. Forgiveness means letting go of your own ego and putting the relationship above it. This sounds easy but overcoming one’s own ego issues is a very difficult thing. It is not a simple task to put down your own ego and let anyone get away with their mistakes, making it very hard to forgive someone.
4. Your anger can’t make you think clearly
Anger is known to cloud judgment and discretion. So if you are angry, it may be hard for you to see things clearly and look at a situation objectively. This can make it very hard for you to forgive because your anger will diminish your ability to think for the best of everyone. Extreme levels of anger and hate can make it difficult to forgive even if someone pleads for forgiveness.
5. You are confusing the concept of forgiving someone with forgetting their mistake
Many people tend to confuse forgiving someone with forgetting the wrong that they have done. These are not the same things and a person doesn’t need to let go of anyone’s mistake to forgive them. If you forgive someone, you become the bigger person having the ability to look past someone’s mistake and not hold a grudge against them. Even after forgiving someone, you can take steps to make someone pay for their mistakes.
6. Because you may not have been forgiven in the past
It can be very hard for you to forgive someone because you have not been forgiven in the past. You may think that if you can’t get forgiveness, why should anyone else get it so easily. This tit-for-tat behavior could be a road block that is stopping you from forgiving someone even if you have good intentions for them in your heart.
