How to Learn to Say No?

It is a good gesture to help people in their time of need. But there are times when the favors people ask you are inconvenient for you and even so you agree to do it. That is definitely not an uncommon scenario. Sometimes despite being uncomfortable to help we say yes so that the person asking a favor does not feel bad. But it is not always necessary to agree to every favor people ask for especially when you are not willing to help. Just because you get surrounded by some irrational fears like what the person might think of you, you get ready to help. There are ways to fix this and learn to say no to favors you are not comfortable with.

1. Value your time

The first thing that will help you in saying no is valuing your own time and priorities. Keep yourself and your important tasks at the top of your to-do list. Only commit your help to others in your free time. Otherwise it will not be fair either to you or the person who needs your help. Secondly, do not always apologize when you are refusing someone for help. This may make you sound weaker. When you have a genuine reason for not helping the person you must be firm while saying no.

2. Stop being goody-good all the time

In order to say no you have to stop being nice all the time. It is good to be polite and have a helping nature but as long as it does not hurt you. Excess of everything is bad and this rule also applies to being nice. Hence saying yes only to impress people is not always a good idea. Saying no does not make you a bad person, it only helps you to prioritize your tasks.

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3. Postpone the request

Instead of saying no you can also ask the person seeking your help to get back to you later. This is an indirect way of saying no and is often easier. Postponing the request also gives you some time to think it through. You can easily decide whether you will be able to complete the favor or not. Preempting the requests for help is also another way of saying no indirectly. You can inform the person about your busy schedule beforehand so that he does not ask you to help. This is an easier option for many people as this way you do not refuse directly.

4. Be frank

Telling the person honestly about your current work load and scarcity of time also helps a lot. It is a difficult approach but you have to learn and practice to say no and explain the reason politely to the person. The art of saying no isn’t an easy one. It will take some time but you will learn to say no to the favors that you are unable to complete. Saying no is not a bad thing if it helps you from unwillingly taking up a task and completing it half heartedly.